What happened in 2021:
Crypto went mainstream.
Alo became Lulu’s cooler younger sister.
Olivia Rodrigo got her driver’s license.
…too tired to keep brainstorming clever things like these, but Rex Woodbury has a pretty good blog post about it.
And now we’re in the third year of the pandemic. Wild.
In 2021, I moved to California (and saw Silicon Valley in all its glory for the first time). I participated in my first ROTC FTX1, did my first ruck march, and fired a rifle for the first time. I started to find my footing at Stanford: challenging myself to know what I believe in, to learn how to think and not what to think, and to always ask, “Is this true? Is this true for me?”
Here are some things I learned.
#1: Self-theories matter.
I learned about confidence: to walk and talk in every room like I belong (Iris); break the seal within the first ten minutes of every meeting (Ann-Miura); keep my hand up (Sheryl Sandberg): even if someone has said my point, say it anyway and improvise the rest.
I learned to reframe rejection, to ask myself: What are the things you thought were important? What were the things you valued? What were the things you saw in what you wanted to do that gave them importance/value to you? If that's still with you, how can you use that in terms of the decisions you make? It's not the end of the world. Rejections can create other opportunities that were not visible at the time of the rejection. In retrospect, they were learning experiences that could take me along and help me make decisions later on (Mehran Sahami).
I learned to rethink failure: I can think critically about ways to study better, apply what I am learning, and see course material in a context that helps me retain it better. It’s also important to evaluate the amount of effort I was putting in and how seriously I wanted to take a particular academic subject. Rather than taking it as an "Oh you got this bad grade," think of it as a "how can you improve on this" (Mehran Sahami).
Ananya’s mantras: Everything I have wanted to learn, I have been able to learn. Everything I want to do, I can do. There is nothing that can make me love myself less.
#2: Value college for its own sake.
College is a beginning, not an end. From Professor Wineburg, I learned about the importance of buying into my own education, knowing that there is a reason why I am at Stanford and why I am taking the classes that I am taking. I am not here to pursue the gold star, or to jump through a set of hoops. Instead, I am here to stretch my mind, to think new thoughts, and to try out new ways of thinking even if they don’t come naturally.
From Paul Graham: the best thing to do in college to be a successful founder is to view “the classic version of college as education for its own sake”: learn powerful things, have genuine intellectual curiosity and follow your own inclinations. Stanford's monopoly on entrepreneurship is not because of its proximity to Silicon Valley, but because of the intellectual curiosity bolstered by its liberal arts curriculum and students’ ability to build at the intersection of different fields.
Sure, Stanford is the best place to be for entrepreneurship, because it is at the heart of Silicon Valley, everyone is working on something and feels very comfortable with pursuing their ambitions, and Larry and Sergey were here twenty years ago. But a Harvard student shouldn't automatically run for elected office, go into banking/consulting, or concentrate in Gov just because Harvard provides the best opportunities for all of those paths. I don't have to go out of my way to mold myself to Stanford's strengths, but I also don't have to completely shun them for the sake of "being different." I can just do what I love.
My goal for Stanford is to have good friends, think in my classes, and learn to write concisely. On the third point, no matter what my future profession is, I will need to write clean, clear prose.
There are so many resources here that it doesn't make a ton of sense for me to be spending a ton of time "off-campus," virtually or physically.
On introspection: allow yourself to feel + keep a notebook! (Saffron Huang)
"It's much easier to put our head down and plow through college, hoping we'll find ourselves with the answers after a couple more midterms, or when we accept our diplomas. But usually after the midterms our heads are aching and we don't want to saddle ourselves with life questions, or we just drink ourselves silly to blow off steam. My genuine wish is that I'd sat openly with those uncomfortable feelings more, really felt the feelings, prodded and investigated the questions and why they would circle my head, and more importantly, did this more with other people. I hope you all do, too.
It's funny how I forgot — or maybe I numbed myself to — my past mindsets. Sometimes I wonder if I accidentally blacked out for a couple of years. Time in college feels warped; we pack ten days of activities into one, but it's too much to remember and just slips by in a wave of exhaustion.”
Success isn’t "being the best;" it's so much broader. A corollary: just because something is “hard to get” doesn’t mean it’s valuable.
The best way to learn from someone is to work for them - Vivian, Nik, Nini.
Step outside your bubble: to truly create value, you have to create something that is useful to a large demographic.
Storytelling matters (Chris), but also let your work speak for itself and let your reputation build (John). In founder-speak, have technology behind your product (Eric).
#3: Work smart. Build frameworks.
From Sarah: Being productive is not working nonstop, finishing a to-do list: it is intentionally unplugging and giving yourself a break. Reading a lot, coding - those don't necessarily count. Resting hard and resting well means unplugging from work and spending time filling up your cup: doing things that fulfill you and energize you.
I suffered from severe burnout this year. The reason I felt unproductive was that I didn't do the things that I instinctually wanted to do, so I felt ennui instead. I'm not unmotivated. Or lazy. I didn't lose all motivation this year. I am hardworking, passionate, intellectually curious, and I love computer science. I lacked the mental energy to work. Having space on my calendar does not mean I am capable of working during that time. I need time to relax, do nothing, go on Wikipedia reading binges, journal, browse Reddit, and write. Those things take time, but because of how spontaneous they are, it is difficult to block time for them each day. The best I can do is to make sure that I have a few hours each day when I don't have anything scheduled.
Cultivate good habits: Go to every lecture. Go to working office hours. Front load on homework. Start assignments the day they are assigned. Read the textbook before lecture. Keep track of exactly how long things take.2
Reframe learning: exams and psets are really good ways to learn and get feedback - patch up understanding and integrate concepts that you have covered.
Imposter syndrome is a lazy excuse. If others can do well, I can, too. Everyone has their own imposter syndrome moments; we all have to overcome (Daisy).
Eat, sleep, exercise are non-negotiable. These are most crucial to our functioning.
Maintain a rich information diet. You are what you read, watch, and hear. I realized this year that the time that I spend talking should be significantly less than the time that I spend reading, writing, and listening, and that I become a worse person when this balance is upset. From spending time with Peter Thiel, I learned that you can figure out a lot about a person by poring over what they write and what they read. It’s not far from getting face time.
The most important thing is to show up and have a good attitude. (Go to lecture, do the work, show up at PT.)
#4: Spend time with people who value you and lift you up.
Let yourself be buoyed by good people. When you're surrounded by people who are driven, motivated, you do better (Xuhui).
From Vincent: Watch when someone's eyes light up. If somebody tells you something about yourself that's insightful, you have a responsibility to pay attention. Conversations are about asking good questions as much as sharing insights. It takes work to find what makes people really tick. Ask questions and listen. (And don't talk shop all the time.)
Not every conversation needs to be insightful or meaningful; sometimes just hang out with friends and have fun (Peter Curran).
From Yehong: Don't take yourself out of the running before someone else does. You've got to have that confidence to go forward.
Build your network vertically, not laterally. Avoid having a bloated Rolodex - it takes time to build positive impressions with the people you work most closely with. Be long-term greedy (Shawn). Can you gauge before the meeting how helpful you can be to this person and vice versa? It’s not the time to be donating time you don’t have the time to be donating.
Think about who you want to learn from what you want to learn from them. The people you look up to are not perfect, but there is always something that you can learn. Take time to figure out what those things are and see if you can do it, too. But also realize the sacrifices they took to become good at those things, think about if you want to be where they are now, and then decide what the best course of action should be.
From Jack and Jacky: Have a generosity mentality instead of a zero-sum, scarcity mindset. There are enough opportunities to go around for everyone, so share, help each other, and grow together. Near-peer mentorship works - it's great to ask questions and reflect with someone who is roughly in the same place you are.
Care less about what others think.3 I know who cares about me, whom I care about in turn, and only those people matter. I can afford to not care. 不要太固执,没什么大不了的 (Grace).
Limit the obligatory social interactions for which you feel a need to prepare and perform.
#5: Growing is about what you say no to, what you give up on.
An ultimatum from my friend Jacky helped me see the danger of saying yes to everything.
“There has to be something you need to cut out for you to finally have more time back. At this current state, this might just be how your time at Stanford will be spent.”
Equating doing a lot with ambition is a form of myopia. Doing a lot can be a form of insecurity; it is thinking that you don't have enough going for you and collecting badges to validate your self-worth. If you are confident about what you are doing, you would feel that what you are doing is enough and just do it really well.
Set reasonable goals so that you can overdeliver. Whatever you get done will probably be a good amount of work anyways.
Give yourself a chance to do well. I never want to overcommit to the extent that I am unable to deliver on what I promised. I have to do work I am proud of to be happy. It doesn't have to be perfect, but I do need to feel that I have tried my best, and that takes time.
Do reschedule if you need to: "Would it be a problem for you if I rescheduled? If not, no worries."
It’s okay to prioritize some interests a lot more than others, and it might require cutting out things that are fun and make me happy (Jeffrey).
Work is a horcrux: Think strategically about taking something on, especially if it's work that I really do not want to do or am unable to do well.
If you’re reading this, thank you for making it all the way to the end.
Shoot me an email, and I will write you a personalized apology for not making this shorter. I may or may not write more.4
No, it’s not the crypto exchange.
Lol. I’m trying, I promise. If you’re actually good at doing this, please let’s study together!!
Facile dictu, difficile factu.
Inspired by Eva Zhang! Check out her blog here.